Monday, June 4, 2012

The Surprising Answer

You are moving way too fast. Wait. Those are the words the Lord spoke to my heart just a few minutes ago. In my garage. At 11:30 pm. All I was aiming to do was to go out and start a load of laundry. Yet God had different plans. For awhile now, I have been considering going into the military to pursue chaplaincy. Whether that is God's plan for me right now I do not know. But I had been allowing confusion to scream so loudly, that I could not hear from God about it. One part of it was questioning my motives: Was I really going to serve, or was I going to prove to my friends that I was more than the sweet, innocent, naive twit that they knew? Another was fear: How would I meet the physical requirements for the Army? After all, I'm not athletically talented. Those who have discouraged me from pursuing it have pointed that out. Enlisting or signing up now would be a leap of faith. Another variable in the equation is UCA. I've considered going there and getting my bachelor's in Nutrition, maybe even doing ROTC (Reserve Officers Training Corps). For weeks I have wrestled with this, feeling like I have to figure it out NOW. Many of my friends are graduating college next year, some are getting married and having kids. All of those are what I desire, yet it seems I'm nowhere closer to it. These questions kept racing through my head: What am I gonna do with my life? How is this going to play out? Why am I not at peace? I caved to depression (AGAIN!)and God felt so far away(thankfully we don't live by our feelings). I couldn't hear Him through all the noise that I had created. Tonight, in my garage, that changed. I started the towels washing and was about to go back in the house when the Spirit tugged on my heart. So I stayed, pacing back and forth, praying in tongues. Then these lyrics from the Kari Jobe song came to my heart and I sang them aloud: So faithful, so constant So loving and so true So powerful in all You do You fill me You see me You know my every move You long for me to sing to You, Lord I know that You are for me I know that You are for me I know that You will never Forsake me in my weaknesses I know that You have come now Even if to write upon my heart To remind me who You are Shortly after I finished singing, I heard the Lord (not an audible voice) speak to my heart and say: You are moving way too fast. Wait. Do not try to figure all of it out now. Peace flooded my entire being just hearing His voice again. But His words still echo in my heart even as I write this. My flesh is currently screaming at the idea of waiting any longer. That's how our flesh works. Flesh wants anything and everything RIGHT NOW. Sorry, but it'll have to wait. Wait for what? Wait for something better There is a Scripture verse that I have on my mirror in my room; Proverbs 4:18. "The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn which shines brighter and brighter till the full light of day." It dawned on me that this is a time for me to just get to know my Creator better without having a lot of distractions. Maybe instead of fight it off, I should embrace it. :) I hope this post was encouraging to you. We all can yield to God's Master Plan. Very rarely will it be something that you saw coming. Some of the steps you take may seem unconventional. But the truth is, God is loving and He has a good plan for us: one to prosper and not to harm (Jeremiah 29:11). So many people think that if they give themselves to God that they will be expected to be a deacon in the church or something like that. Now if God tells you to become a deacon in your church you need to pursue it, but that's not God's plan for everyone! Not every Christian is called into full-time ministry, but every Christian--everyBODY has a place where they belong and too many are going outside of God's will trying to find that. If we all understood how good God is, we'd all be running after Him. Yes, this is something I'm still learning myself. If we can just remember that GOD IS LOVE...why...that would solve a lot of problems in this crazy, messed-up world we live in. Peace to you! :)