Thursday, January 27, 2011

Plans Changed...

God told me a couple days ago not to go home for Spring Break.

Why? I don't know. I really wish He'd tell me.

There were so many things I wanted to do when I went home. My plan was to go to Shreveport first thing and see Stephen, the Mazurs, and meet Stephen's girlfriend Sydney. Then I wanted to go to Gateway Church on Sunday morning, visit my friends who go to Arkansas Tech, grab a cup of Starbuck's with Morgan, have dinner with the Alsops, grab a real Icee (that's right, I said a REAL Icee)... but all my plans were changed by a few simple words.

Don't go home for Spring Break.

Right now, the song "Out of My Hands" by Matthew West is the anthem of my life.

I hate the state of not knowing right now.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

He Cares for YOU!

This seems to be a common theme in my postings, but whether I've posted it three times, or three hundred times it's true.

It all started on Thursday. Our informational meeting for Steps to Beauty was that night and while it seemed things were going smoothly, I was too busy complicating things.

It's amazing...even though I am against worry in every shape and form because of Matthew 6:25-34...I worried over this meeting constantly. Until I was sick. Literally. I got sick of worry. I'm talking cough, congestion...ick!

The worst thing about it was I had no clue that I was worrying!

Anyway, Friday morning, I woke up with the same cough...only it had gotten worse. I also felt weak and lightheaded. I said my healing scriptures, dressed and went to Greek but I wound up spending class time trying not to pass out.

What is wrong with me, I wondered.

Since I had no classes third hour, I went back to bed and tried to go back to sleep...but I couldn't. I even skipped chapel trying to get some good sleep in but alas I failed. I guess the reason for that would be because I started having awful spasms in my back muscles. I had already set my alarm so I could get up before Steps to Beauty Prayer on Fridays after chapel and it went off a little sooner than I wanted it to. Once again I forced myself out of bed whilst repeating my healing scriptures, but my back feeling none the better.

I headed on to chapel feeling very tired and in a lot of pain. I arrived at the sanctuary as prayer was beginning.

I went to our customary spot on the right side of the sanctuary over by the stairs, and once again failed epically to sit Indian-style like the other girls could. My assistant leader came and sat down and we chatted for a bit before the other team members came, but what she said I was not prepared for.

"You worry way too much." In a nutshell, that's what she said.

What? Me worry? HA!

But as she continued talking, I checked my spirit, and what she was saying was true! I had been worrying way to much and my body was paying for it. Without me even giving them permission, tears started running down my face.

Now how it snuck in, I still have no idea. But I'm glad God used my assistant director (Thank you, Crystle!) to tell me what was going on.

One other team member arrived and we began praying for the ministry and for eachother. During prayer, I couldn't stop thinking about what Crystle had told me. Nor could I ignore the pain in my back any longer. I kept shifting and shifting trying to find a comfortable position.

Finally, as was our custom, we went over on the other side of the Sanctuary to take communion. After we received our communion elements, Dr. Watson, asked two to lead us out in prayer before partaking of the bread and cup.

The first one to pray was my friend Jake. The funny thing is now, I don't remember what he said, but it was what I needed to hear. My spirit was feeding off everything he sad during his prayer. Definitely led by the Holy Spirit.

The second one started hers off by speaking life over everyone. By faith I received it, and I could feel myself becoming more at peace. I don't remember what else she said but I do remember her quoting Isaiah as saying "Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." I grabbed onto that promise, and began feeling stronger than before.

Afterwards,Crystle offered to give me a back massage which I accepted. I also wound up having to borrow a heating pad to lay on.

Obviously, I was set up to receive blessings from God today. Isn't it amazing that God knew exactly what I needed and met me there? I still thank Him everyday for ordering my steps. And He is faithful in everything! Later on, my back was healed! :)