It hasn't all been easy here at North Central. Exams, drama, papers, reading-it starts to take over your life!
Thankfully, Jesus is taking over mine :)
Ever since I got here I have been leaning on Nehemiah 8:10 which says "The Joy of the Lord is my strength!" This verse keeps me going when I feel like I may faint. It also helps me control my negative emotions, so that I do not let them take over my life.
Like today, I had been feeling really depressed. That is not at all like me, because the Lord has gifted me with a merry heart. However, I felt like a total mess. Different things were happening and the reading I had to do for Psychology nearly put me on the edge.
DEAR GOD HELP ME! I mentally screamed. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO HARD????
I then crawled into my bed for a nap and turned on Keith Moore's sermon called Staying In Faith. I wanted more than anything to call my Mama and vent, but I knew that would not help me in anyway. For one thing, I would be giving into those emotions, and secondly, Mama's got enough to deal with already!
I was seriously tempted to skip Psychology that afternoon. But since my parents pay for me to come here, I called my Daddy and asked him if it was ok. He was sympathetic towards me, but suggested I go. Great! I sighed. Well if you got a duty you gotta do it!
God helped pull me together so that I could walk to Psychology without feeling so overwhelmed and crying from exhaustion.
However, during the first few minutes of class, I couldn't seem to concentrate. I gritted my teeth angrily. Dadburnit! I thought. I wish Thanksgiving were tomorrow!
I excused myself and went to the restroom, and that's where the Spirit got ahold of me. As soon as I walked in the door of that restroom, all the negative feelings that I had been feeling toward Psychology, college in general, and myself came back. Through the tangled mess of thoughts, I could hear the Spirit saying, "Don't yield to it!!! Don't yield to it!! I'm here!!"
Thank the Lord that we don't live by feelings!
I started quoting Nehemiah 8:10 and began thanking God for sustaining me through the toughness of college. I walked back into the classroom with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.
Now THAT'S victory!! 1 Corinthians 15:57! :D But THANKS BE TO GOD!! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!!! :DD
In the words of Brother Copeland, "I'm about to preach myself happy!"